Can You Bring Your Kids to Work?
I am a business owner and a mom and find myself frequently answering the question: “Can you bring your kids to work?” This topic carries a huge weight in my world. I typically offer a simple response to keep the conversation lighthearted, but if you want to know the reality, I’ve been contemplating it through this writing piece that has been ever-evolving for the past couple of years!
Determining Boundaries
I own a children’s consignment shop, so I can see why one might think it’s a perfect fit to bring the kids. I, myself even thought upon beginning my business, and again upon having my second child two years into being a business owner, that it would be a great perk to bring my kids to work – some way, somehow. Sure, it’s rewarding to see how much fun my boys have just being at Minnows, but the truth of it is that I struggle to play both roles well simultaneously.
Even at home, I have had to learn to create clear boundaries when it comes to business tasks. I’ve realized that when I am trying or half expecting to get work done while I am with my kids, I am unjustifiably short with them and I don’t enjoy our time together, which is otherwise not the case at all. In all fairness to my boys, and because it feels much better for me to be present, I make my best effort to put my work down when it’s time for me to be a mom. I have met people who are able to accomplish work with young children present in a presumably balanced way, and to these folks, I give props.
A couple of years ago when Mason, my oldest son was in Kindergarten, he would come to Minnows after school a few days a week while I worked.
Most often, the dynamic between us worked out quite well. Customer service with a typically good-natured five year old wasn’t an issue, but pricing product was very stop and go, and no doubt did having him there detract from the growth of my business and ultimately from our family income. So, when the time came, I was ready to implement a different plan for after-school care. Of course, from a mom perspective, having had the opportunity to connect with him directly after school throughout his Kindergarten year was priceless. Not to mention, without that time, we would never have discovered how valuable Mason’s toy testing skills are!
It’s not always easy for me to maintain the boundaries between work and parenting. When unexpected scheduling changes arise due to sickness or school cancellations, it can be particularly tough. I try to look at these challenges as opportunities though and remind myself that I’m being handed extra time with my beautiful, ever growing children. It’s always a matter of perspective.
In preparation for the summer of 2018, I truly had to shift my mindset. Mason, who was headed into second grade the following school year spent two days each week with me at the shop as a Toy Tester (his official title) in lieu of attending YMCA summer camp where he went for the two summers prior. It was back in February, 2018 that Mason first firmly declared that he didn’t want to attend summer camp. Although he did not fully articulate why, I believe it was that he simply needed a real vacation, a break from the structure. This is a desire I can completely relate to. As much as he enjoyed the daily swimming opportunities at summer camp over the past couple of years, there’s no denying that it feels all too much like school when it comes down to the scheduled activities and the long days away from family and home.
It took a lot of thought before I arrived at the decision to go for it and bring Mason to work. I’m protective of my time that I have dedicated to Minnows because as my own boss, I have to set those boundaries realistically realistic boundaries in order to be successful. On the other hand, one of the benefits of owning my business is that these decisions are mine to make. At that time, Mason was approaching seven years of age, and I had to consider that he’d grown up quite a bit since the days he came to Minnows after school when he was in Kindergarten.
Mason’s request came just after our family had been through a major ordeal with our then almost two-year-old, Nash, (Mason’s brother) who was diagnosed with epilepsy. In turn, I was in the process of reevaluating my time and taking a good look at how I could better balance my responsibilities as a mom, alongside my role as a business owner. So, Mason’s plea really resonated with me and I wanted so genuinely to find a way to follow through for him. At first though, I couldn’t wrap my head around an alternative plan. I remember initially thinking there was no way around summer camp.
The more I faced my anxiety, the more I was able to recognize the opportunities. I thought a lot about what the time was going to be like for me playing both the mom role and the business owner role and I prepared myself for success. Mason and I made a list of things needed for his “Lego Office” and he drew a picture of what his area would look like. This planning and visualization was a good exercise to help relieve some of my stress about it and got him even more excited too!
The Business of Bonding
Mason and I fully enjoyed our time together at Minnows that Summer. In fact, I had planned to work partial days and make up for time lost in the evenings, but instead, I was able to stay through most of the day (longer than expected anyway) and took the opportunity for a lighter workload during that time frame. During his time at Minnows, Mason kept himself busy AND without one single bit of screen time…(mom victory)! In addition to working in his Lego Office, and entertaining himself with toys and books that came in on consignment, he also enjoyed helping with shop tasks like attaching tags to product and helping customers.
One of the things I enjoyed most is observing how Mason composed himself in his role at Minnows. His interactions with team members were really special to watch and he always ventured out to be around customers while they shopped, especially when there were kids there. I felt at ease with focusing on my work while trusting him to behave respectfully throughout the shop. He appreciated the freedom of not being bossed around (much) while he was there and he chose to have fun and to be helpful without even being asked.
Finding it within myself to say “yes” to Mason gave us a special opportunity to spend the time together that we both needed as mom and son. It was eye opening for me to revisit the idea of bringing my kids to work and to know that after all, I am capable of mixing these two major roles in my life.
Thank you for following!
Can you bring your kids to work? Leave a comment about your experiences with the kid/work balance.
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Maggie
Bringing your kids to work is perhaps the epitome of challenge becoming an opportunity. At Baby Burrito, with both parents working, we built the business around making sure Ian could come to work with us comfortably for long stretches of time. Granted, he did have access to a whole playground and lots of kids to play with, but it was still a HUGE jump in independence. I think he gained so much from that experience, learning how to speak for himself vs. when it was time to call for help, and having the realization that his parents do work to support him and could see us working quite literally as a team. Most parenting involves a lot of teamwork, but seeing us both actively ‘working’ helped take that out of the abstract. He was able to see a job that needed doing and immediately take action to bring a customer napkins, or throw a piece of litter in the trash can.
It’s tough to balance, cool to hear how other folks are pulling it all off! Thanks for writing this!
minnowschildhoodgoods
It was great to see Ian taking such pride in his independence this summer. So many lessons wrapped up in that experience!
Louise Seekins
Back in the day ( 80s to be exact ) when I was the director of a nursery school I started the school year with my two month old with me at work. I had space in my office where he could play, sleep and nurse. Whenever I went into the classrooms to assist, do observations or meet with perspective parents for the following year, I would put him in the Snugglie and off we’d go! I was one of the fortunate moms who did not have to make the choice of day care vs career. We moved out of state before his first birthday. I always felt just like with any other aspect of the parenting journey we are always evaluating and reevaluating the situation. What works one day, month or year may or may not work the next day, month or year. It sounds like you were able to listen to everyone’s needs and then all of you were able to work out a working plan for everyone. And because of this plan the quality of time and mutual respect that you and Mason have been able to have is priceless!
minnowschildhoodgoods
Thank you for sharing this memory Louise! Yes, things can shift so rapidly when it comes to what works or doesn’t work with parenting. Writing this piece over the course of a few years was an eye-opening way to track that evolution.